Critiquecast 16.3.2: Broker Rage

The cast finishes up ”The Viennese Maneuver” by /u/Has_No_Gimmick and things get weird.

One thought on “Critiquecast 16.3.2: Broker Rage

  1. Hmm, you didn’t post the second part to the sub. I figured I’d wait for both parts to go up before commenting.

    Anyway, swing and a miss on this one. I completely agree with the ‘caster who said this reads more like a summary of another, longer story. I tried to cram too much into the word limit, so all I could do was recount events with little to no characterization. And so you get these characters who feel 2D or cut from stock. Plus clunky plot progression and some howlers of sentence construction/bad prose style, all around you have something mostly unsalvageable. I knew this thing sucked when I submitted it and feel that even more strongly now, so no clue on what I was thinking.

    I guess I liked the revolting horror of the situation. But you can’t get that gut-punch during the big reveal if you don’t care about the situation or the characters. If I did want to fix it I’d want to start over from scratch, and writing this the first time around was enough Freudian shit for my 2014.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>